it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
