What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
