ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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