THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
