i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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