guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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