O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
