you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
