i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
jump out the window naked night went bad
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
