she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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