youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize