Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
