so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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