yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
