Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize