Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
