pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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