and i looked up. we had an audience...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
