I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
