Im at strip club and am horny
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
