I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
