I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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