we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I have feelings that need drinking.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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