just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
its liver damage thursday
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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