Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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