you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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