As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
