It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
