Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
