Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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