its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
