At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
