i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
