and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
