It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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