When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
