very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think a kid would responsible me up
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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