My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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