if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
