It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Me too!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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