Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
