So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
