He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
