she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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