I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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