i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
