i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
