I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
