sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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