I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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