His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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