So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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