I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
