I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want her autograph on my taint
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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