I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
