white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
