So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
