I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
