is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
