walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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